Chemo #4 Halfway!

I brought my handy dandy laptop with me to the cancer center today to do a blog post during my halfway chemo. I wanted to post a "play by play" if you will about what happens during a typical chemo.

Dan made meme

I went in early this morning to get my port accessed. They stick me and put a tube in and then I go get breakfast with Dan. (editor's note:  breakfast is the most important meal of the day) I cover up everything with a scarf so people don't look at me like I have a tube coming out of my chest. Which I do....

We came back after breakfast and went and saw Dr. Rowland. He was thrilled with my blood tests again. Everything looked really good which means the white blood cell booster shot is working!

He wanted us to schedule a PET scan before we came in to see him next time since this is my halfway point. I am already nervous about this PET scan since it will say so much about what my next treatment options will be like (more chemo? radiation therapy?) and how much longer do I have to deal with having "cancer". 

He also decided to bring one of the chemo drugs, the "A" in ABVD back up to normal dosage levels. He dropped down on the dosage after my fiasco first chemo treatment but since I have been feeling so great he wanted to move it back up to hopefully kill off any cancer cells that might be lingering. He is keeping the "V" in ABVD at 50% however since that drug really affects(editor's note:  I have no clue if it should be affect or effect.  Chime in!) my liver which is something else that went haywire during the first chemo.

After seeing him and getting the go ahead we walk over to the chemo infusion suite.


I always ask for a private room instead of going out to the infusion room. Don't get me wrong, the infusion room is really nice. Huge windows, a fireplace, and big screen TV's everywhere. I just really like sleeping through the last half of my chemo. I don't feel comfortable sleeping around other people however so I always ask for a private room. Here is what it looks like.

Not huge, but completely our own space. I am sitting in a recliner.

Dan always brings his laptop to work on things since chemo can get pretty boring. 

Today we had my favorite nurse Mary. She was the first chemo nurse we met and always remembers us and little things about our lives. She is really nice and has a very dry sense of humor which Dan loves.

Mary gets me hooked up to the infusion pump. They start me off with a bag of saline to give me some fluids. Then Mary hooks up a bag with benadryl, my steroids and anti-nausea meds. I started at 9:20am.

The first drugs make me pretty loopy and tired, but I have to stay awake so that when they give me my first heavy drug, the "A" one, that I can eat ice chips to keep mouth sores away.

Mary comes in with the "A", "B" and "V" drugs. They are all "push" drugs which means Mary has to sit and insert each one manually into the IV line.

Mary giving me Adriamycin aka "A" aka "Red Devil"

 Dan talks to her since I am shoving ice chips down my throat the whole time. Luckily since my mouth is numb from ice I don't usually "taste" the drugs. It's weird that a drug that is being inserted straight into my body can still leave an awful taste in my mouth. The saline they use to flush out my port always tastes the worst. I brought candy the first two chemo treatments to combat the taste, however it now seems that all chewy type candies make me horribly nauseous. How fun. So now I just stick with ice chips.

After Mary finishes "pushing" all the drugs she hangs up the bag with the "D" to finish out the chemo. At this point I usually pass out. It takes about an hour and a half to two hours for the "D" to get in my system. When I wake up I am always completely washed out, almost yellow. It is always a shock the first time I see myself in the mirror. The Casper look lasts for about 24 hours and isn't just my face. My arms, legs, everything looks a little yellow.

         Chemo face before                                                                     Chemo face after. Casper!

After that, Dan and I are all done. We were out of the hospital today by 2:00p. We headed to the grocery to get some crackers to help me drink more in the next couple of days. Then we came home to do some laundry and dishes, well Dan did dishes and laundry, and I passed out for a little while. 

I'll try and go to bed early tonight so that I can be ready for my school's Open House tomorrow. Hopefully I don't look too pale for the parents or talk too fast due to the steroids. It will be a long day but then Friday is a half day at school and I just have teacher meetings in the afternoon. Score! On Saturday, Dan is leaving for the weekend for a couple of gigs and my mom is going to come over to hang out with me and make sure I keep drinking. I totally don't mind that at all since I know she will clean out my flower beds for me and bring me food. If I am feeling up to it we can paint some new patio furniture I got for free from a friend! Woot!

So yes I am nervous about the higher dose of one of the most toxic drugs I take, but I am hoping with all the proactive stuff we are doing this time around that I will have no issues.

Dan made meme

Germs!

As I get ready to tackle chemo #4 (halfway!) I am more and more aware of any possibility that my chemo could be delayed.

Of course after my first chemo went so horribly we had to delay my second for a week. It actually worked out though since my last chemo was supposed to be on Halloween. I always have a big concert that day at the nursing home in Gifford. Now I won't miss Halloween and my students get to sing at the nursing home in their costumes!

But November 7th is very clearly etched in my mind already as the final chemo date. I will do ANYTHING to keep from changing that date!

The big part I have to keep on top of is staying healthy. My immune system isn't at it's best right now. The chemo wipes out my white blood cells. I am taking my white blood cell booster shot after each chemo. It keeps my white blood cells from bottoming out. Dan is convinced it is what has made me feel better during the past chemos. I am convinced it is the amount of liquids I have been drinking after each chemo. I don't want to experiment to see who is right so let's call us both right!

Unfortunately schools are germ-y. 

My students are doing a great job remembering to sanitize their hands before entering my classroom and covering their mouths when they cough. I have even noticed some students avoiding getting close to me if they don't feel well. 

We started band this week and as I was teaching some students how to make a noise on a flute I realized they were spitting all over me. Sigh.

So I improvised:

No germs on me!

My fifth graders called me a purple ninja. And then the boys proceeded to get in an argument about their being no girl ninjas. I set them straight.

So as of right now I would say we are beating the germ battle. I'll keep taking my vitamins and white blood cell booster shots (did I mention if I didn't have insurance it's a $5,000 shot?! WHAT?!) and wear my lovely ninja outfit as beginning band students start a new year.

Check out my new bulletin board by the way! It's my new favorite!

Each note has a student name on it. The kids did the notes! ;)

The puppy question still stands by the way....I'll try not to take a trip to the humane society this weekend while Dan is away. I will be keeping busy with some hanging out with girlfriends, my new hobby of stitchery, and my new yoga DVD.

Wish me luck!

P.S. I got a new coffee maker! I am the only coffee drinker in the house and Dan was tired of cleaning out a coffee pot each morning.

I'm in love...

P.P.S. I can't tell if it is new growth or just a few strands that haven't said goodbye yet, but I technically still have hair! And eyebrows! Woo Hoo!

Yay Yull Brynner!

I am slowly going crazy....

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 switch!

Anybody else Sharon, Lois and Bram fans out there?

I loved them as a kid and even bought their CDs when I was student teaching and kept losing my voice. I would play the CD for my students and they loved all the goofy songs.

But seriously. I am going a bit crazy. The third chemo has been about as uneventful as the second. Which is sooo awesome! But now that I feel pretty normal physically I am realizing how BORED I am!

I am so used to being busy, busy, busy. I love to stay busy. But this year I am not teaching guitar lessons, working a weekend job, or even going to grad school. With Dan having gigs every weekend this month I don't even have him around to entertain me! :(

So I am trying to find some hobbies. I went to the craft store today and bought a bunch of supplies. I may even start on some homemade Christmas presents! 

My haul today. Can you tell what I am trying to make a new hobby?

My parents are hanging with me this weekend too, so at least I'll have someone to run errands with and keep my craft buying in control.

They will unfortunately have to deal with my steroid powered self which likes to wake up at 3:30 in the morning and clean bathrooms. Also steroids make my emotions go haywire and my ADD almost out of control. So I'll start baking banana bread and then forget that I was supposed to make dinner as well and try to throw that in the oven too. So then our house smells like garlic chicken bananas with a faint hint of cleaning chemicals. Dan is soooo lucky. ;)

I am also thinking (yes, just me, not Dan) that I should become a foster mom for a puppy for the humane society. It could be a lot of fun! Midas wouldn't have to worry about someone taking his place as our top dog. Yet Dan is against the idea. If you agree that this is a great idea you should totally leave a comment! :)

Sorry for all the emoticons and the exclamation points!!!! STEROIDS!!! :D

Chemo #3

Third chemo is over and done with!

I was a little concerned that since I had a cold I wouldnt be able to have treatment today. But as Dr. Rowland said my counts were "perfect". I still had a normal white blood cell count, my liver was behaving and everything else was great!

I was so excited to tell him how much better everything had gone this time! And he was so glad to hear it! We went with the same amount of dosage this time for all the drugs, but he mentioned that next time we may need to up some. Slowly, just to make sure the cancer is dead and gone but also to make sure I don't get really sick again.

For those who are keeping track next chemo is Number Four! That's halfway through!!! I am getting excited about being on the downhill slope of this. After the number four chemo we also have our mid way PET scan. That will tell us a lot. Dr. Rowland felt my neck this time though and said he couldn't feel any swollen lymph nodes. That is a great sign!

After this chemo I had more trouble with being tired, but the steroids that they give me during treatment kept me going through the afternoon. We went to Michael's and bought a TON of doo rags so I have more scarves to wear for school. Then I came home and crashed for an hour and was up like a shot and cleaned and did laundry. Then....I crashed again. I managed to eat some really yummy lasagna that a parent had dropped off for me. And now I am getting ready for bed.

I will continue to drink an insane amount of water tomorrow at school. Which isn't the easiest when I can't really go pee any time I want, but there is no way I'm not drinking. I don't want to test out the theory that this is why the last chemo went so well. Nope. 
I'll just keep drinking a heck ton of water thankyouverymuch.

Meme advice made by Dan

I am excited about the new scarves I bought and getting back to school. I missed being busy today! This weekend Dan is gone the whole weekend on a big wedding gig so my parents are coming over to hang out with me. Then on Monday we are having a little cookout with some friends. Hopefully Hurricane Isaac only wants to dump 6 inches of rain on us on Saturday and Sunday and leave us alone on Monday.

By the way, thank you for all the lovely texts and emails you sent me today! As always they are greatly appreciated!

Chemo positives

There have been a few positives that come from doing chemotherapy:

• The money I am saving on hair care products is amazing.
• I also haven't had to shave in 2 weeks. TMI I know, but I'm sure the ladies can appreciate it.
• I have ridiculously smooth skin as well. No lotion required.
• I've been paying a lot more attention to what I am eating and drinking. I haven't had any coke since my diagnosis. Since I used to not be able to live without a big gulp of Diet Mt. Dew everyday that's big for me.
• I can drive with my windows down! No more dangerous amounts of hair flying in my face or into my mouth.
• It's brought my family closer together. We talk more often and see each other more. That has been nice.
• I have learned how many people care about me. A lot of people never get to know that. Some people even have fantasies of dying and coming back and seeing what people say at their funeral. I have no desire to know what my obituary will say but I know I am cared about and prayed for and that will always make a person feel good.
• I have started this blog and realized I enjoy writing. I am still working on improving as a writer, but I enjoy writing about my experiences. So far it has been very therapeutic for me. I also enjoy meeting the people who have stumbled upon my blog. Unfortunately they are usually looking for more info about lymphoma because someone they know or they themselves have it, but I enjoy being a resource whenever I can.

So there are the positives I've found in chemo so far. We go in for treatment number 3 on Wednesday. I am getting my sub plans ready as I write this. I am excited to be almost half way done with chemo. Now I get to start worrying about the mid-way PET scan which will really tell us if the chemo has killed all the cancer.

We are praying for complete or even partial remission so I will not have to go through radiation. Radiation has a bad habit of bringing on new cancers and since the largest tumors are in my chest this could cause breast cancer in a few short years for me. So we want to avoid that at all costs.

Right now, however, we are focused on having a good chemo treatment like last time. We are going to do everything the same: dosage, insane amounts of drinking water and taking all my meds for 3 straight days regardless of how I feel. Hopefully everything will go just as well as before!

100%

I realized this morning after I got to school and drank half of my coffee that I was feeling pretty good. Still feeling pretty good.

I then realized I hadn't even thought about taking any of my anti-nausea meds since Sunday. So since Sunday I have been completely off meds.

It is Tuesday and I feel great! I even texted Dan during my lunch today and told him that I felt 100% today! Completely normal-before-cancer 100%. 

Ok, maybe I still get a little dizzy if I sit on the floor and stand up too fast, but really I am getting old, so that could just be an inner ear thing.

I am saying right here and right now, 1 week out of chemo number 2 that I feel awesome!

And I can't even explain how happy that makes me feel.

This cancer thing is going to get kicked to the curb and we are moving on with our lives as quickly as possible!


And because I didn't have a picture for this post, Dan made me a meme:

Dan also approves.

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Feelin' Good

I have been feeling pretty good so far after my second chemo.

A little heartburn, a little mouth soreness, but really NOTHING like it was before. After my first chemo by this time I was calling the nurses begging for something to help with my mouth. Barely able to talk or eat. 

So overall I see this as a fantastic improvement!

Unfortunately I went from having a very "chic" crew cut, ala Natalie Portman:

Cute!

To a more Yul Brynner look:

Le sigh.

I got a few patches still left on top of my head, but I am pretty bald. It still surprises me when I look in the mirror, so I am trying not to do that as often. Luckily my eyebrows and eyelashes are still hanging on. I hope, hope, hope (!) they don't go away. It will get frustrating drawing them on each day, and I think the no eyebrow/eyelash look really screams cancer!

On Wednesday I went back to school for our teacher institute day. Thursday I saw a few kids in the hall, but didn't have any music classes. Friday I had my first full day and talked to each of my classes about what was different about me this year.

Here is my outfit/wig from Thursday:

I fooled most of the kids into thinking it was hair, and even some of the staff!

On Friday we have purple and gold day and I wanted to try to wear a scarf for the day at school to see how it would do, so here I am in all my purple and gold glory:

The purple scarf was actually a pashmina so I was able to wear it kind of 

in a ponytail which was fun.

I had sent home a letter to the parents of my kids on Thursday so most of them had already talked about it at home. The kids took everything really well, of course. Children are resilient and confident in happy endings. They know that the bad guy always loses and that the good guys always win.

Most of them didn't even bat an eye when I talked about how I have lost my hair and how I would need to miss school every other week to get treatment for the cancer. Only two classes asked to see me without my scarf, and though they did have some shocked looks, a lot of the boys liked comparing their summer crew cuts with my new "doo"!

We talked about how my head gets cold, so I will always wear some sort of scarf, or hat, or wig. We also talked about my new "Sanitation Station" where I have Germ-x and encourage kids to use it when they come into my classroom each day. I had a few kids sneeze today in music and they immediately got up and used the hand sanitizer! YAY! Here's hoping I don't get sick!

I have had parents stop in to see me and email me, saying really nice things. I have to say it is so nice working in a small community. Especially when you are going through something difficult and you need a pat on the back or a helping hand. I am so very grateful for the job I have and the school I work in. It has helped a lot to keep my mind off things as well. School keeps me very busy and then when I get home I am usually passed out on the couch by the time Dan gets home from work. Though tonight (Friday) I was able to stay up late (10:00!) for a bonfire with friends and had a lovely evening hanging out and feeling pretty good.

It was so perfectly cool out! Perfect for a fire!

This weekend is the first weekend Dan and I have both had off since our wedding anniversary in April! APRIL! Crazy! Now that I am no longer working at the Orpheum I have my weekends free again, and for once Dan doesn't have any gigs this weekend! Woo hoo!

So if I continue to feel good we will hit up the farmer's market on Saturday morning, come up to school to install my new instrument cabinet that Dan and Will built me (YAY!) and have a nice lazy weekend together!

If you can't tell I am very excited about that!