That whole cancer thing

I mean it does say something in the title of the blog, right?

The documented course of treatment for Stage 2 Hodgkins is to maintain regular scans for several years after remission begins.  Thanks to Julia being pregnant she was able to avoid a round of scans.  They caught up to us though and she endured another round of delicious barium and radioactive imaging.

We were very pleased to see that the images from this recent scan and the previous scan, now a year old, look identical.  Which means we get to continue saying that the cancer is in remission and we can continue on our way.

Happy dance.



Thanks for following along everyone.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho

It's back to work I go!

This past week was my first back at school since Little Man was born on December 16th. 

It was sooo nice to be back. I can't lie, I love my job. I love what I do for a living and love the community I teach in. 

I am not the stay-at-home type. 

I knew I wasn't before, but this just reinforced it to me. I really enjoyed my 2 months at home. I will never forget the bonding I had with my little boy and all the good times we had. 

We were really just starting to get into the swing of things. I was enjoying my morning nap with him. Then during his afternoon nap I would clean, start dinner and do the laundry. Just call me Miss Suzy Homemaker. 

Then Monday came. First day back. 
I had zero qualms about leaving Amos since he was with a most trusted friend all day, but everything I had to remember! And do! Just so that I could leave my little boy for one day. 

It was overwhelming to pack him and myself up for our first day. Then I felt I spent most of my day pumping and attached to my desk. That kept me from getting the regular amount of work done at school. But I couldn't stay late to finish, I had to go pick up the kid. So then I left things undone (which I HATE) and went to pick up a very hungry, grumpy kid. Because now I get to see him during the "Witching hour" which for him is 4 hours long. So we went home and I unloaded all of our stuff only tohave to leave it because he needed to eat RIGHT THEN. I then proceeded to sit on the couch and feed him for the next 2 hours.  I needed to wash the 18 bottles that were dirty and wash diapers for the next day, and God forbid, figure out dinner. Usually Dan can pick up the slack but he had to work late and wouldn't get home till 8. 

Then I cried.

That was tough. 

Being at work is easy. Caring for my son is easy. Doing BOTH is HARD!

But Tuesday went better. Wednesday went even better. We are figuring out a better way to go about things. Figuring out how God awful early we have to wake up to get everything done and how late we have to stay up.

But I figure in a month we will be pros. And by this summer I won't be exclusively breastfeeding anymore (as long as he starts solids then) and that will be easier as well. 

It's hard to see beyond this right now and realize this child will not always be attached to me. 

It's the longest shortest time. 

Don't even ask me how I am going to do my concerts, let alone grad school this summer. I have to breathe into a paper bag when I think about it.

"I will cross that bridge when I get to it" (quote attributed to Dad).

Friday little man got to stay home with Dan. And now Dan has begun his first foray into stay at home dad-hood. He absolutely loved it! It was nice enough for them to go on a walk with the dog for the first time in forever. I got a lot of cute pictures while I was at work too, which was lovely.

Even though this sounds like a huge bitch fest blog post I really do feel ok now. Spending the whole day at home with the kid on Saturday helped a lot as did the 2 naps we both took. 

Little man has actually been sleeping through the night from about 7 weeks. First it started with 5-6 hours straight and now it is consistently 8-9 hours a night. At 12 weeks. 

We know we are one of the lucky ones. Especially since he is exclusively breastfed right now. If I didn't have to get up in the middle of the night to pump I would be perfectly fine. Right now I would just say I am pretty fine with sleep amounts. 

So another work week is ahead of us, but it is getting warmer out which is great. We are already looking forward to spending a lot of time on our deck with the little man. 

Have my first CT scan in a year coming up next Monday. Already worried about it, but figure thats the way of things for awhile. I won't get the results for a week so that will be a fun 7 days.

I will definitely look forward to my weekends a little more now and getting to spend them with my family.

A love letter

Dear husband, 


I knew that seeing you hold a tiny baby in your arms was going to make me love you even more. 

I knew that you were going to be a great dad. 

I knew that you two would probably get into trouble. 

But one smile would make me forgive you both. 

I knew that this would be hard at times. 

I knew there would also be some awesome moments. 

I knew that I wanted this child for us with my whole being. 

I knew that our son would love you from the moment he saw you. 

I knew that you would love him with the ferociousness of a lion. 

I didn't know though how much you would still love me. 

I didn't know that I would feel even more loved. 

I didn't know we would actually be better not worse. 

I didn't know that you could love me even more than you already had. 

Love, 
Me

Get by with a little help from my friends

Julia always told me that one of her favorite Christmas songs was 'The Friendly Beasts.'
I, of course, being over zealous in my vast knowledge did not believe that such a song existed.  She then proceeded to have her choir perform it for me...more than once.  So I kind of have to admit that she is right (she always is, don't tell her I said that).

The phrase seems to have gained more meaning recently.  So here are some of Amos' furry friends that are always here helping out.

A Fox. Go ahead, sing the song.

A Deer Head.

An Extra Life.

One of those Deku Tree People.  #askjohncardoni #windwaker

A Puppy Dog.

A Real Puppy Dog.

That 'Little Birdie' my mom was always talking to.

A Hedgehog!

Wise Old Owl.

A Porcupine.

A Squirrel.

And the fuzzy pajamas he always wears that confess one of the greatest joys in life.  #moarhugs

This is just awful.

A baby should not be the first choice if you're hoping to keep things bland, neat, and ugly.  Don't even bother.  Look at the stuff I see everyday.
This is just awful.

 And I have this woman to thank for it all.  She graciously puts up with all this cute crap.
All. Day. Long.
Thank you so much for enduring this fluffy squeaky stage of life.

I love this family.  Even though it is too cute to function.

Picture Update

I have always loved to take photos. My grandpa gave me his old black and white film camera when I was in high school. I took it everywhere and learned how to process photos and develop film. I was on the paper in high school and continued to love taking photos through college. 
A couple of years ago I wanted a nice digital camera and Dan came through with a super nice one for me. I took some digital photography courses at our local community college and learned everything I could. 
I still enjoyed taking photos, but digital photography wasn't as fun for me at times as film had been. I also had trouble with remembering to bring the camera with me places since it's huge and bulky.

After we brought the kid home we kept taking pictures of him with our phones, which look fine, but aren't that high quality. Dan got out the nice camera and started taking shots. Since there are so many different settings he played around with it a lot and read a few articles online. All of a sudden he was taking fabulous shots! 

I am so happy he is too! I definitely don't have the energy/patience right now to deal with thinking about shutter speeds and apertures. Dan is really good at getting some great shots though. Here are some of our favorites:

We are starting to catch our breath and find our footing. Amos is a great sleeper, nursing is getting easier, and we both feel more capable as parents. It's good to be our new, little family.

2 weeks in

Well you might get tired of hearing things like this, but I can't believe he is two weeks old already!

He is starting to look less like a potato and more like a baby!

Dan and I are enjoying this time with our little man and it is flying by! It feels like we have had him forever, but then we learn new things about him every day!

Even though Dan and I are still learning things everyday, figuring out how to feed, care and keep this tiny little human alive, we are so very happy with the way things are going. It almost seems to be a rose-colored view of our life right now. We can glaze over all the struggles (finding time to eat, shower or sleep) and just be happy to see this little man staring back at us.

I am content.

You won't find much complaining from me. I find the entire presence of Amos to be a miracle and I am still reveling in the wonder of it all.

My little reindeer

I mean I don't want to bring anybody down, but last Christmas looked like this:

Christmas 2012

Let me tell you, I do NOT miss being bald! It wasn't that last Christmas was so bad, but this Christmas was pretty sweet:

Christmas 2013

And let's be honest. 2012 just sucked in general. 2013 has been fan-freakin-tastic! With 2014 just around the corner we only have more awesome things to look forward too (such as sleeping longer than 3 hour stretches). We are very excited to welcome in 2014 but we will be sad to see 2013 go. 

Happy New Year from the Hartman's
Dan, Julia, Midas and Amos