Hi Ho, Hi Ho

It's back to work I go!

This past week was my first back at school since Little Man was born on December 16th. 

It was sooo nice to be back. I can't lie, I love my job. I love what I do for a living and love the community I teach in. 

I am not the stay-at-home type. 

I knew I wasn't before, but this just reinforced it to me. I really enjoyed my 2 months at home. I will never forget the bonding I had with my little boy and all the good times we had. 

We were really just starting to get into the swing of things. I was enjoying my morning nap with him. Then during his afternoon nap I would clean, start dinner and do the laundry. Just call me Miss Suzy Homemaker. 

Then Monday came. First day back. 
I had zero qualms about leaving Amos since he was with a most trusted friend all day, but everything I had to remember! And do! Just so that I could leave my little boy for one day. 

It was overwhelming to pack him and myself up for our first day. Then I felt I spent most of my day pumping and attached to my desk. That kept me from getting the regular amount of work done at school. But I couldn't stay late to finish, I had to go pick up the kid. So then I left things undone (which I HATE) and went to pick up a very hungry, grumpy kid. Because now I get to see him during the "Witching hour" which for him is 4 hours long. So we went home and I unloaded all of our stuff only tohave to leave it because he needed to eat RIGHT THEN. I then proceeded to sit on the couch and feed him for the next 2 hours.  I needed to wash the 18 bottles that were dirty and wash diapers for the next day, and God forbid, figure out dinner. Usually Dan can pick up the slack but he had to work late and wouldn't get home till 8. 

Then I cried.

That was tough. 

Being at work is easy. Caring for my son is easy. Doing BOTH is HARD!

But Tuesday went better. Wednesday went even better. We are figuring out a better way to go about things. Figuring out how God awful early we have to wake up to get everything done and how late we have to stay up.

But I figure in a month we will be pros. And by this summer I won't be exclusively breastfeeding anymore (as long as he starts solids then) and that will be easier as well. 

It's hard to see beyond this right now and realize this child will not always be attached to me. 

It's the longest shortest time. 

Don't even ask me how I am going to do my concerts, let alone grad school this summer. I have to breathe into a paper bag when I think about it.

"I will cross that bridge when I get to it" (quote attributed to Dad).

Friday little man got to stay home with Dan. And now Dan has begun his first foray into stay at home dad-hood. He absolutely loved it! It was nice enough for them to go on a walk with the dog for the first time in forever. I got a lot of cute pictures while I was at work too, which was lovely.

Even though this sounds like a huge bitch fest blog post I really do feel ok now. Spending the whole day at home with the kid on Saturday helped a lot as did the 2 naps we both took. 

Little man has actually been sleeping through the night from about 7 weeks. First it started with 5-6 hours straight and now it is consistently 8-9 hours a night. At 12 weeks. 

We know we are one of the lucky ones. Especially since he is exclusively breastfed right now. If I didn't have to get up in the middle of the night to pump I would be perfectly fine. Right now I would just say I am pretty fine with sleep amounts. 

So another work week is ahead of us, but it is getting warmer out which is great. We are already looking forward to spending a lot of time on our deck with the little man. 

Have my first CT scan in a year coming up next Monday. Already worried about it, but figure thats the way of things for awhile. I won't get the results for a week so that will be a fun 7 days.

I will definitely look forward to my weekends a little more now and getting to spend them with my family.