So here we are

Present Day! 

You did it! You made it through the craziness that has been my brain for the past 13 weeks. I know it was hard, and probably pretty annoying at times, but I promise that from now on we will just talk about fun things! Like being pregnant! And trying not to look like Florence Henderson:

Crap I need a haircut.

I have finally caught you up to the present day. Having the blog this time around, even when I wasn't publishing anything really helped me. I was a nervous wreck for pretty much the first 11 weeks of this pregnancy. 

When I try to explain to people why, it always seems silly. I had a miscarriage, on top of our doctor telling us at the beginning of March that the chemo had wiped out my ovaries. I was actually diagnosed as pre-menopausal and they told us to start looking into donor eggs. 
All that. 

ALLTHAT. 

And here I am pregnant. 

So forgive me if I didn't believe it at first. Forgive us for waiting so long to tell people, and in not believing I would ever get to experience pregnancy. 

That isn't to say it didn't take A LOT of drugs. 

We were told that IVF would have a 1% chance of working. We decided to wait till this summer to try it since we would have to go to Indy for the procedure and I didn't want to miss school. 

As a favor to us our fertility doctor (Dr. Faye by the way, so awesome) let us try just the hormone shots leading up to the IVF to see if my ovaries could be stimulated at all. She warned us that it was really a shot in the dark. But our insurance paid for some of the shots and we figured what could we lose. This way at least we would know if IVF had even a remote chance of working this summer. On top of seeing how strong a dose I would need to get my ovaries to turn back on.

We had done this once before. Right before chemo with disastrous results. So they really upped my dosage of hormones this time. 

Come to find out. 2 weeks after starting the drugs I had 4 viable eggs!! 4!!! 

We were ecstatic   My ovaries still worked. We had hope. We waited to see if any or all (gulp) would stick. 

1 did. 

And here we are. Getting ready for my 12 week ultrasound (even though I'm 13 weeks) tomorrow morning. We are hoping to bypass any crazy genetic disorders and hoping the chemo didn't mess up my remaining eggs. 

So in a way I am still holding my breath. Still waiting to let it go and believe that everything is going to be ok. When I get really worried I listen to the baby's heartbeat and I am reassured that they are still there, that this is happening, and that everything is going to be ok.